Drowning in Pain? Palliative Care: Your Medically Approved Next Steps

If you feel like you're drowning in pain, exhausted, or overwhelmed by a serious illness, you are not weak — and you are not out of options. Palliative care is a medically approved, evidence‑based approach designed to relieve suffering and improve quality of life at any stage of a serious illness.

Many people think palliative care means "giving up." It does not. It means focusing on comfort, clarity, and support while you continue receiving treatment — or even alongside curative care.

If pain or symptoms feel out of control, here's what you need to know and what to do next.

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What Is Palliative Care?

Palliative care is specialized medical care for people living with serious illnesses such as:

• Cancer
• Heart failure
• COPD or advanced lung disease
• Kidney disease
• Neurological conditions (like Parkinson's or ALS)
• Advanced liver disease
• Dementia

It focuses on:

• Relief of pain
• Relief of physical symptoms (nausea, shortness of breath, fatigue, insomnia)
• Emotional support
• Spiritual support (if desired)
• Clear communication about treatment options
• Help coordinating complex care

Importantly, palliative care can be provided at any stage of illness — not just at the end of life.

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When Should You Consider Palliative Care?

You do not need to wait until things feel unbearable.

You may benefit from palliative care if:

• Pain is limiting your daily life
• Symptoms are not well controlled
• You've had frequent hospital visits
• Treatments feel overwhelming
• You're unsure about your medical choices
• You or your family feel emotionally drained

Early palliative care has been shown in medical studies to:

• Improve symptom control
• Reduce depression and anxiety
• Improve quality of life
• Sometimes even extend survival in certain cancers

If you're "drowning," that is reason enough to ask for help.

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What Palliative Care Can Actually Do for Pain

Pain from serious illness is real. It can be physical, emotional, or both. Good palliative care addresses both.

A palliative care team may include:

• Doctors
• Nurses
• Social workers
• Pain specialists
• Pharmacists
• Chaplains (if desired)

They use a layered approach to pain management:

1. Medication Adjustments

This may include:

• Acetaminophen or anti-inflammatory medications
• Nerve pain medications
• Opioids (used safely and monitored carefully)
• Steroids for inflammation
• Antidepressants for nerve-related pain

Contrary to common fear, when used appropriately under medical supervision, opioid medications can be safe and effective for serious illness pain.

2. Non‑Medication Treatments

These can include:

• Physical therapy
• Gentle exercise
• Nerve blocks
• Radiation (for painful tumors)
• Heat or cold therapy
• Relaxation techniques
• Massage
• Acupuncture

3. Emotional and Psychological Support

Pain often worsens with:

• Anxiety
• Depression
• Fear
• Poor sleep

Addressing these does not mean the pain is "in your head." It means your nervous system is interconnected.

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Understanding Your Cancer Pain: Get Clarity Before Your Appointment

If you are living with cancer and struggling with pain, it is important not to ignore new or worsening symptoms.

Before your next doctor's visit, you can use a free Cancer Pain symptom checker to help identify what might be causing your discomfort and prepare the right questions to ask your healthcare team.

This is not a diagnosis, but it can help you organize your concerns before speaking with your doctor.

Always follow up directly with a healthcare professional about persistent or severe pain.

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What Palliative Care Is Not

Let's clear up common misunderstandings.

Palliative care is not:

• Only for people who are dying
• The same as hospice (though hospice includes palliative care)
• A replacement for cancer treatment or heart treatment
• "Giving up"

You can receive chemotherapy, dialysis, surgery, or other treatments while also receiving palliative care.

Hospice care, on the other hand, is typically for patients expected to live six months or less and who are no longer pursuing curative treatment. That is a separate decision.

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Your Immediate Next Steps If You're Overwhelmed by Pain

If you feel like you're barely coping, take these practical steps:

1. Speak to Your Doctor Directly

Say clearly:

"My pain is not controlled. I need more help."

Be specific:

• Where is the pain?
• How intense is it (0–10 scale)?
• What makes it worse?
• What helps?
• Is it constant or intermittent?

If you believe something could be life‑threatening — such as chest pain, sudden severe headache, confusion, weakness, or shortness of breath — seek urgent medical care immediately.

2. Ask for a Palliative Care Referral

You can say:

"Can you refer me to palliative care?"

Many hospitals have palliative care teams. Outpatient clinics and home‑based programs may also be available.

3. Review Your Medications

Uncontrolled pain is sometimes due to:

• Incorrect dosing
• Missed doses
• Drug interactions
• Untreated nerve pain
• Side effects limiting use

Never stop or increase medication without speaking to your doctor.

4. Address Sleep

Poor sleep makes pain worse. Ask about:

• Sleep hygiene
• Safe sleep medications
• Managing nighttime pain

5. Bring Someone With You

Serious illness is hard to manage alone. A trusted person can:

• Take notes
• Ask questions
• Help you remember instructions
• Offer emotional support

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Questions to Ask a Palliative Care Team

Consider asking:

• What is causing my pain?
• What are all my options?
• What are the risks and benefits?
• How quickly should I expect relief?
• What should I do if pain worsens at night or on weekends?
• How can we reduce side effects?

Clear information reduces fear.

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Emotional Reality: It's Okay to Say This Is Hard

Serious illness changes your life. Pain changes your identity. It is normal to feel:

• Frustrated
• Angry
• Tired
• Afraid
• Sad

Palliative care includes counseling and emotional support. Treating suffering means treating the whole person, not just the disease.

If you are having thoughts of harming yourself or feel hopeless, this requires immediate medical attention. Speak to a doctor right away or seek emergency care.

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What If Your Doctor Doesn't Mention Palliative Care?

Sometimes doctors focus heavily on treating disease and may not raise symptom management early.

You are allowed to advocate for yourself.

You can say:

"I want better symptom control. Can we involve palliative care?"

This is a reasonable and medically supported request.

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The Bottom Line

If you feel like you're drowning in pain, palliative care is not surrender. It is strategy.

It is:

• Symptom control
• Medical precision
• Emotional support
• Honest communication
• Quality of life protection

Pain that is untreated or poorly managed is not something you must simply endure.

Start here:

• Speak to your doctor honestly
• Ask for a palliative care referral
• Review your medications
• Use a free Cancer Pain symptom checker if cancer is involved to prepare for your appointment
• Seek urgent care for any severe or potentially life‑threatening symptoms

Above all, do not try to manage severe or persistent pain alone. Speak to a doctor about anything that could be serious or life‑threatening.

Palliative care exists because suffering deserves treatment. And you deserve relief.