How to tell if you are a narcissist.

How to Tell If You’re a Narcissist

Narcissism exists on a spectrum—from healthy self-esteem to pathological Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). At its core, a narcissist exhibits an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for excessive admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. Occasional self-focus is normal, but persistent patterns that harm your relationships, work or daily life may signal something more serious.

What “narcissist” really means

• Grandiosity: believing you’re superior, unique or entitled to special treatment
• Admiration-seeking: relying on praise or attention to feel worthy
• Empathy deficits: having trouble understanding or caring about others’ feelings
• Fragile self-esteem: reacting with anger, shame or defensiveness when criticized

These core traits come from both the DSM-5 criteria for NPD and scales like the Pathological Narcissism Inventory (Pincus et al., 2009), which measure grandiose and vulnerable aspects of narcissism.

Common signs you might be a narcissist • You monopolize conversations. You steer topics back to your achievements, opinions or problems, even if others try to change the subject.
• You dismiss others’ feelings. When friends or partners share concerns, you minimize or ignore their emotions.
• You crave admiration. You fish for compliments, post boastful updates on social media or exaggerate accomplishments.
• You react strongly to criticism. Even mild feedback triggers defensiveness, rage or sulking.
• You exploit relationships. You use people to get what you want—status, resources or validation—and discard them when they’re “done.”
• You envy others or believe they envy you. Success or praise that goes to someone else feels unjust or threatening.
• You lack long-term empathy. You struggle to comfort, support or stay connected when someone else is in pain.
• You feel special and expect favors. You believe rules shouldn’t apply to you, and you get resentful if you don’t receive preferential treatment.

Types of narcissism

• Grandiose narcissism: overt self-confidence, extroversion, dominance, entitlement.
• Vulnerable (covert) narcissism: hypersensitivity, introversion, feelings of neglect, passive-aggressiveness.

Signs of vulnerable narcissism include internalizing criticism, harboring shame, and using guilt or withdrawal to manipulate others.

Questions to ask yourself
Use these prompts to reflect on your thoughts, feelings and reactions. Answer honestly, without judgment:

• Do I feel upset or humiliated when I’m not the center of attention?
• How do I respond when someone achieves more than I do?
• Do I genuinely listen when others share their struggles, or do I shift focus back to me?
• Am I quick to excuse my mistakes but unforgiving of others’?
• Do I manipulate conversations or relationships to get praise, power or control?
• Do I struggle to apologize or admit wrongdoing?
• Have people described me as selfish, cold or overly demanding?

If you see patterns in these questions, you may have narcissistic traits that cause distress or impairment.

A simple next step: consider doing a free, online “symptom check for ”
— a quick self-screening quiz can highlight areas to explore further.

When to seek professional help
Having some narcissistic traits doesn’t automatically mean you have NPD. But if these patterns:

• Cause serious conflict at work, home or school
• Lead to anxiety, depression or loneliness
• Make it hard to maintain friendships or romantic relationships
• Drive you to hurt yourself or others
  you should reach out to a mental health professional (psychologist, psychiatrist or licensed therapist). They can offer a proper assessment, rule out other conditions (like borderline personality or bipolar disorders) and recommend treatment.

Treatment options typically include:

• Psychotherapy (especially schema-focused therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, or mentalization-based therapy)
• Group therapy or support groups for personality issues
• Medication (in rare cases, to treat co-occurring depression or anxiety)

Learning to balance self-interest with genuine concern for others takes time. Therapy can help you:

• Build real empathy skills
• Develop healthier self-esteem
• Handle criticism and failure without rage or shame
• Cultivate authentic relationships based on mutual respect

Don’t self-diagnose—but do stay curious
Labels can guide you but don’t define you. If you recognize troubling patterns, the goal isn’t to shame yourself—it’s to understand and change. Talking through your thoughts with a trusted friend, using journaling or mindfulness practices, or pursuing therapy can all help.

If you ever feel overwhelmed, unsafe with your own behavior, or concerned you might hurt yourself or someone else, please speak to a doctor or mental health professional right away. Serious or life-threatening issues require immediate attention.