Published on: 3/5/2025
People who self-harm can learn different coping skills like deep breathing, journaling, and talking to someone to help manage strong feelings and stop the urge to hurt themselves.
When you feel very upset, there are many skills you can learn to ease your pain without hurting your body. One way is to use deep breathing or mindfulness exercises. These help you feel calmer by focusing on each slow breath, reminding you to live in the moment. Another approach is to write down your feelings in a journal; this can make difficult emotions feel more clear. Sometimes, doing an activity you enjoy like drawing, playing a game, or going for a walk can serve as a healthy distraction. Many people also find it helpful to talk to someone trustworthy, like a friend, family member, or mental health professional, so you feel cared for and understood. Research has shown that when you plan ahead ways to calm yourself, like keeping a list of these coping skills or making a comfort box with favorite items, you are less likely to feel the need to self-harm. All these techniques help regulate your emotions in a proactive way, offering better choices when strong feelings take over. Learning and practicing these skills can make a big difference in how you manage tough moments.
(References)
Aspinwall LG, Taylor SE. A stitch in time: self-regulation and proactive coping. Psychol Bull. 1997 May;121(3):417-36. doi: 10.1037/0033-2909.121.3.417. PMID: 9136643.
Guerreiro DF, Cruz D, Frasquilho D, Santos JC, Figueira ML, Sampaio D. Association between deliberate self-harm and coping in adolescents: a critical review of the last 10 years' literature. Arch Suicide Res. 2013;17(2):91-105. doi: 10.1080/13811118.2013.776439. PMID: 23614483.
Bhattacharyya D, Namdeo M, Dwivedi AK. Proactive coping style and intentional self-harm: A cross-sectional study. Ind Psychiatry J. 2018 Jan-Jun;27(1):67-72. doi: 10.4103/ipj.ipj_2_18. PMID: 30416294; PMCID: PMC6198609.
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