Should I tell my OBGYN if I'm using a dildo?

Should I Tell My OBGYN I’m Using a Dildo?

Being open with your OBGYN about your sexual practices—including dildo use—helps ensure you get the safest, most effective gynecologic care. Here’s why it matters, how to bring it up, and what to expect.

Why Disclosure Matters

1. Accurate Assessment of Trauma Risk
   • Dildos vary in size, shape, material and rigidity. Some can cause friction, micro-abrasions or even minor tears in the vaginal or anal lining.
   • Knowing you use a dildo lets your OBGYN check for any signs of injury, inflammation or scarring that might go unnoticed otherwise.

2. Infection Prevention & STI Screening
   • Shared or improperly cleaned sex toys can transmit bacteria, yeast or sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
   • According to Workowski & Bolan (2015), comprehensive STI care hinges on honest disclosure of all sexual practices. If you’ve shared or rented a toy, your doctor can recommend targeted testing and safer cleaning methods.

3. Tailored Lubrication & Comfort Advice
   • Dryness or insufficient lubrication during dildo use raises the risk of friction injuries.
   • Your OBGYN can suggest water-based or silicone-based lubricants that are compatible with your toy’s material and safe for your body.

4. Pelvic Floor & Sexual Function
   • Some individuals use dildos for pelvic floor rehabilitation or to address vaginismus.
   • Sharing this helps your OBGYN guide you through pelvic floor exercises, recommend physical therapy or adapt exams to minimize discomfort.

5. Hormonal & Anatomical Considerations
   • Post-partum changes, menopause or hormonal contraception can alter vaginal anatomy and elasticity.
   • Discussing dildo use enables your provider to tailor advice on toy size, flexibility and frequency for your body’s current state.

What Your OBGYN Needs to Know

You don’t need to provide every detail—focus on what impacts your health:

• Type of toy (material: silicone, rubber, glass, metal)
• Approximate size and shape (length, girth, curves)
• Frequency and context of use (solo, partner-assisted, pelvic therapy)
• Cleaning routine (soap and water, toy cleaner, boiling)
• Sharing practices (do you use it with multiple partners?)

How to Bring It Up

1. Use Neutral Language
   “I have a silicone dildo that I use a few times a week. I want to make sure I’m cleaning it properly and not risking irritation.”

2. Tie It to Your Visit
   “I’ve noticed some mild soreness after using my toy. Could that show up on an internal exam?”

3. Write It Down First
   If you feel awkward, jot down a note on your phone or a piece of paper. Handing it to your OBGYN can break the ice.

4. Remember Confidentiality
   Sexual health conversations with your OBGYN are protected by doctor-patient confidentiality. You won’t be judged or reported.

Potential Concerns & When to Seek Help

Most dildo use is perfectly safe when you follow basic hygiene and comfort guidelines. However, watch for:

• Persistent Pain or Bleeding
– If soreness lasts more than a day, or you notice spotting/bleeding unrelated to your menstrual cycle.
– Consider a free, online symptom check for irregular bleeding or pelvic pain.

• Signs of Infection
– Unusual discharge (color, odor, consistency), itching, burning or swelling.
– Yeast infections and bacterial vaginosis can result from altered vaginal pH after toy use without proper cleaning.

• Allergic Reactions
– Some materials or lubricants can cause contact dermatitis. Redness, itching or rash on contact means you may need a hypoallergenic alternative.

• Emotional Discomfort
– If you feel guilt, shame or distress around your sexual practices, your OBGYN can refer you to a counselor or sex therapist.

STI Risk & Cleaning Best Practices

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s guidelines (Workowski & Bolan, 2015):

• Never share a dildo without a new condom.
• Clean thoroughly:
– Silicone, glass, stainless steel: boil for 3–5 minutes or use a 10% bleach solution (rinse well).
– Rubber, jelly or porous materials: use toy cleaner and warm water; replace periodically.
• Store in a clean, dry place—avoid contact with other toys to prevent chemical interactions.

Your doctor can advise if you need specific STI tests based on toy-sharing or any other risk behaviors.

Addressing Common Myths

Myth 1: “Dildo use makes exams impossible.”
Truth: Gentle insertion before an internal exam can actually stretch the vaginal canal, making the speculum exam more comfortable.

Myth 2: “You’ll be shamed if you admit using a dildo.”
Truth: OBGYNs are medical professionals trained to discuss all aspects of sexual health non-judgmentally.

Myth 3: “Only people with injuries need to mention sex toys.”
Truth: Prevention is better than cure. Even if you feel fine, your OBGYN can offer tips to avoid problems down the line.

Talking Points for Your Appointment

• “I want to make sure my toy use isn’t affecting my health.”
• “Can you check for any irritation or infection related to my dildo use?”
• “What kind of lubricant is best with my silicone toy?”
• “Is it safe to use my toy during pregnancy/postpartum/menopause?”

Beyond Your OBGYN Visit

• Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy
If you experience chronic pain or tightness, a specialized physical therapist can guide you through exercises that complement your toy use.

• Sex Therapy or Counseling
For emotional or relational concerns around dildo use, finding a certified sex therapist can help address guilt, shame or performance anxiety.

• Online Resources & Communities
Reputable sites like the American Sexual Health Association (ASHA) offer guides on sex toy safety and sexual well-being.

When to Call Your OBGYN Immediately

If you experience any of the following after using a dildo, seek medical attention without delay:

• Heavy bleeding or large clots
• Severe pain unrelieved by over-the-counter painkillers
• Signs of systemic infection: fever, chills, rapid heart rate
• Inability to pass urine or stool

For non-urgent but concerning symptoms, consider a free, online symptom check for irregular bleeding or pelvic pain.

Final Thoughts

Telling your OBGYN about dildo use isn’t embarrassing—it’s responsible self-care. Honest disclosure lets your provider:

• Screen for infections and STIs
• Evaluate any trauma or irritation
• Recommend the right lubricants and cleaning methods
• Address pelvic floor or sexual function issues

Your sexual health is an integral part of your overall well-being. Always speak up about anything that could affect your care, and reach out to a medical professional if you notice serious or life-threatening symptoms.

Speak to a doctor about any concerns that are severe, persistent or affecting your quality of life. Your health—and your peace of mind—are worth it.