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Published on: 2/6/2026

Managing Vaginal Dryness: Medical Solutions for Intimacy After 65

Vaginal dryness after 65 is common and treatable; effective options include immediate lubrication help with water or silicone-based lubricants, ongoing relief with vaginal moisturizers, and gold-standard low-dose vaginal estrogen with minimal systemic absorption. Non-estrogen choices like vaginal DHEA or oral SERMs, plus pelvic floor physical therapy and gentle sexual stimulation, can also improve comfort and desire. There are several factors to consider. See below to understand more. Know what to avoid and when to call a doctor: skip fragranced or numbing products and douching, and seek care for pain, bleeding after sex, persistent burning, or frequent UTIs; emotional factors and past trauma can also affect arousal. Important nuances, safety considerations, and step-by-step guidance on choosing treatments and next steps are explained below.

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Explanation

Managing Vaginal Dryness: Medical Solutions for Intimacy After 65

Vaginal dryness is very common after age 65, yet it is rarely talked about openly. Many women wonder how to get wet again or seek reliable lubrication help so intimacy can remain comfortable and enjoyable. The good news is that vaginal dryness is a medical issue with well‑studied, effective treatments. You are not "broken," and you are not alone.

This guide explains why dryness happens, what medical and non‑medical solutions actually work, and when to speak to a doctor. The tone here is practical and honest—without fear‑based language or false promises.


Why Vaginal Dryness Happens After 65

The most common cause is lower estrogen levels after menopause. Estrogen helps keep vaginal tissue:

  • Thick and elastic
  • Well‑lubricated
  • Well supplied with blood

After menopause, vaginal tissue can become thinner, drier, and more fragile. This condition is often called genitourinary syndrome of menopause (GSM).

Other contributors include:

  • Certain medications (antidepressants, blood pressure drugs, allergy medications)
  • Reduced blood flow with aging
  • Chronic health conditions (diabetes, autoimmune disease)
  • Stress, anxiety, or relationship strain
  • Past sexual pain or trauma
  • Lack of regular sexual stimulation

Dryness is not just about comfort—it can affect desire, confidence, and emotional closeness.


Common Symptoms of Vaginal Dryness

Symptoms can range from mild to disruptive:

  • Trouble getting wet, even with arousal
  • Burning or itching
  • Pain during penetration
  • Light bleeding after sex
  • Frequent urinary tract infections
  • Reduced interest in intimacy due to discomfort

If pain or bleeding is persistent, this should always be discussed with a doctor.


How to Get Wet: Medical and Practical Solutions That Work

1. Vaginal Lubricants (Immediate Lubrication Help)

Lubricants provide short‑term moisture and reduce friction during intimacy. They do not treat the underlying tissue changes, but they are often the first step.

Types to consider:

  • Water‑based lubricants
    • Easy to clean
    • Safe with condoms and sex toys
    • May need reapplication
  • Silicone‑based lubricants
    • Longer‑lasting
    • Excellent for severe dryness
    • Usually preferred after menopause

Avoid:

  • Products with fragrance, warming agents, or numbing ingredients
  • Petroleum jelly or oils unless a doctor confirms they are safe for you

Lubricants are especially helpful when dryness is mild or occasional.


2. Vaginal Moisturizers (Ongoing Hydration)

Moisturizers are different from lubricants. They are used regularly (every few days) and help restore moisture over time.

Benefits include:

  • Improved daily comfort
  • Less irritation
  • Better response during intimacy

These are often recommended for women who want lubrication help beyond sexual activity alone.


3. Low‑Dose Vaginal Estrogen (Gold‑Standard Medical Treatment)

For many women after 65, local vaginal estrogen is the most effective treatment.

It comes as:

  • Creams
  • Tablets
  • Rings

Key points:

  • Very low systemic absorption
  • Improves tissue thickness and natural lubrication
  • Reduces pain, irritation, and urinary symptoms
  • Often safe even for women who cannot take full‑dose hormone therapy

This treatment directly addresses the cause of vaginal dryness rather than just the symptoms.

A doctor can help determine if this option is right for you.


4. Non‑Estrogen Prescription Options

For women who cannot or prefer not to use estrogen, there are alternatives:

  • Prescription vaginal DHEA
  • Selective estrogen receptor modulators (SERMs) taken orally

These treatments work differently but can improve comfort and sexual function. They require medical supervision.


5. Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy

Pelvic floor tension can make dryness and pain worse.

A trained pelvic floor therapist can help with:

  • Improving blood flow
  • Reducing muscle guarding
  • Increasing comfort during intimacy

This is especially helpful if dryness is combined with pain or fear of penetration.


6. Sexual Activity and Stimulation

Regular sexual stimulation—alone or with a partner—helps maintain vaginal health by increasing blood flow.

This does not mean forcing intimacy. It means gentle, pressure‑free engagement at your own pace.

Helpful approaches:

  • Longer foreplay
  • External stimulation first
  • Using lubrication early, not as a last resort

Emotional and Psychological Factors Matter

Difficulty getting wet is not always purely physical. Emotional safety plays a major role in arousal.

Factors that may affect lubrication include:

  • Fear of pain
  • Relationship stress
  • Body image concerns
  • Past sexual trauma

If past experiences may be influencing your physical response, Ubie's free AI-powered Sexual Trauma symptom checker can help you privately explore whether unresolved trauma could be contributing to intimate discomfort.

Support from a therapist or sexual health specialist can make a meaningful difference.


What to Avoid

Some commonly suggested "fixes" are not safe or helpful:

  • Douching (can worsen dryness and irritation)
  • Homemade remedies inserted into the vagina
  • Ignoring pain and pushing through sex
  • Assuming dryness is "just aging" and untreatable

Discomfort is your body's signal—not something to endure.


When to Speak to a Doctor

Always speak to a doctor if you experience:

  • Ongoing pain with sex
  • Vaginal bleeding after intimacy
  • Burning or itching that doesn't improve
  • Frequent urinary tract infections
  • Sudden changes in vaginal symptoms

These could indicate conditions that need medical treatment. Anything that may be serious or life‑threatening should be discussed with a healthcare professional without delay.

A doctor can:

  • Rule out infections or skin conditions
  • Prescribe appropriate treatments
  • Adjust medications that may be contributing to dryness
  • Refer you to a specialist if needed

Reclaiming Comfort and Confidence After 65

Vaginal dryness does not mean the end of intimacy. It means your body has changed—and medicine has changed with it.

With the right combination of:

  • Lubrication help
  • Moisturizers
  • Medical treatments
  • Emotional support

many women rediscover comfort, pleasure, and closeness well into their later years.

If you are wondering how to get wet again, know this: there are real, science‑based solutions available. You deserve comfort, dignity, and intimacy at every age.

If something doesn't feel right, or if symptoms are affecting your quality of life, speak to a doctor. Help is available—and effective.

(References)

  • * Davis SR, Baber RJ, Panay N, Bitzer M. Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause: An Updated Review of Pathophysiology, Diagnosis, and Treatment. J Clin Endocrinol Metab. 2019 Oct 1;104(10):4233-4245. doi: 10.1210/jc.2019-00628. PMID: 31216005.

  • * Gandhi J, Chen A, Smith N, Khan S. Vaginal estrogen for the treatment of vulvovaginal atrophy. J Womens Health (Larchmt). 2016 May;25(5):455-66. doi: 10.1089/jwh.2015.5414. PMID: 26866410.

  • * Chen A, Smith N, Khan S, Gandhi J. Non-hormonal management of vaginal dryness. J Womens Health (Larchmt). 2016 May;25(5):467-74. doi: 10.1089/jwh.2015.5415. PMID: 26866411.

  • * Mirkin S. Ospemifene for the treatment of dyspareunia associated with vulvovaginal atrophy: a review of efficacy and safety. Therap Adv Reprod Health. 2018 Jun;12:2053363318784338. doi: 10.1177/2053363318784338. PMID: 30042898; PMCID: PMC6041695.

  • * Labrie F, Archer DF, Bouchard C, Vaillancourt E, Montesino M. Prasterone (intravaginal dehydroepiandrosterone) for the treatment of vulvovaginal atrophy. Expert Opin Pharmacother. 2017 Mar;18(4):413-424. doi: 10.1080/14656566.2017.1294895. PMID: 28240409.

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