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Published on: 2/1/2026

Post-Menopausal Comfort: Addressing Vaginal Atrophy and Pain After 65

Pain with intimacy after 65 is common and usually due to genitourinary syndrome of menopause from low estrogen, which causes dryness, thinning, and tightness; comfort can often be restored with vaginal moisturizers and lubricants, low-dose local estrogen, non-estrogen prescriptions, and pelvic floor physical therapy. There are several factors and warning signs to consider, including infections, skin conditions, prolapse, or rare cancers; see a clinician promptly for bleeding, persistent pain, new or worsening symptoms, or discharge changes. See the complete guidance below to decide your safest next steps, including emotional supports, lifestyle tips, and how to talk with your partner.

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Explanation

Post-Menopausal Comfort: Addressing Vaginal Atrophy and Pain After 65

Many women over 65 are surprised to find that intimacy becomes uncomfortable or even painful after menopause. Pain during intercourse is common in later life, but it is not something you have to "just live with." Understanding why these changes happen—and what can be done—can help restore comfort, confidence, and quality of life.

This article explains vaginal atrophy (now often called genitourinary syndrome of menopause, or GSM), why it causes pain, and what safe, effective options are available. The information shared here is based on well-established medical understanding from gynecology, menopause medicine, and sexual health research.


Why Pain During Intercourse Is More Common After 65

After menopause, the body produces much less estrogen. Estrogen plays a key role in keeping vaginal tissue healthy, elastic, and well-lubricated. When estrogen levels drop, several changes can occur:

  • Thinning of the vaginal walls
  • Loss of natural lubrication
  • Reduced blood flow to vaginal tissues
  • Increased vaginal dryness and irritation

These changes can lead to pain during intercourse, burning, or a feeling of tightness. For many women, symptoms worsen with age if left untreated.

It's important to know this is a physical change—not a personal failure, lack of desire, or "normal aging" that must be endured.


Understanding Vaginal Atrophy (GSM)

Vaginal atrophy is a medical condition that affects up to half of post-menopausal women, yet many never discuss it with a healthcare provider.

Common symptoms include:

  • Pain during intercourse
  • Vaginal dryness or itching
  • Burning or irritation
  • Light bleeding after sex
  • A feeling of pressure or tightness
  • Urinary symptoms such as urgency or frequent infections

These symptoms can appear gradually and may feel embarrassing to talk about, but they are widely recognized and treatable medical concerns.


How Pain During Intercourse Affects Emotional Well-Being

Pain during sex doesn't just affect the body—it can affect relationships and emotional health as well.

Some women experience:

  • Avoidance of intimacy
  • Fear or tension around sexual activity
  • Feelings of guilt or frustration
  • Lower self-esteem or body confidence

If pain has been present for a long time, the body may begin to tense automatically, making discomfort worse. This cycle can be broken, but it often requires both physical treatment and emotional understanding.

In some cases, past experiences can also play a role in ongoing discomfort. If you've experienced previous trauma that may be affecting your intimate well-being, you can take a confidential, free Sexual Trauma symptom check to better understand what might be contributing to your current symptoms.


Practical Steps to Reduce Pain During Intercourse

There is no single solution that works for everyone, but many women find relief using a combination of approaches.

1. Vaginal Moisturizers and Lubricants

These are often the first line of relief.

Vaginal moisturizers:

  • Used several times a week
  • Help improve overall tissue hydration
  • Work over time, not just during sex

Lubricants:

  • Used during sexual activity
  • Reduce friction and pain during intercourse
  • Water-based or silicone-based options are usually recommended

These products are widely available and safe for many women, though persistent symptoms may require more targeted treatment.


2. Local Estrogen Therapy

Low-dose vaginal estrogen is considered one of the most effective treatments for vaginal atrophy and pain during intercourse.

It works by:

  • Thickening vaginal tissue
  • Improving elasticity
  • Increasing natural lubrication
  • Reducing irritation and micro-tears

Local estrogen comes in several forms:

  • Creams
  • Tablets
  • Vaginal rings

Because the dose is low and acts locally, it is generally considered safe for many women—even those well past menopause. A doctor can help determine whether this option is appropriate for you, especially if you have a history of cancer or other hormone-sensitive conditions.


3. Non-Estrogen Prescription Options

For women who cannot or prefer not to use estrogen, other prescription treatments may help:

  • Medications that support vaginal tissue health without estrogen
  • Treatments designed specifically for moderate to severe pain during intercourse

These options should always be discussed with a healthcare provider to weigh benefits and risks.


4. Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy

Pelvic floor muscles can become tight or uncoordinated in response to pain. Specialized physical therapy can help by:

  • Teaching relaxation techniques
  • Improving blood flow
  • Reducing muscle guarding
  • Supporting more comfortable intimacy

This approach is especially helpful if pain has been present for years or if anxiety around intercourse has developed.


When Pain During Intercourse Is a Sign of Something Else

While vaginal atrophy is common, pain during intercourse should never be ignored, especially if it is new, severe, or worsening.

Other conditions that may cause pain include:

  • Infections
  • Skin conditions affecting the vulva
  • Pelvic organ prolapse
  • Certain gynecological cancers (less common, but serious)

Speak to a doctor promptly if you notice:

  • Unexplained bleeding
  • Persistent pelvic pain
  • Pain not relieved by basic treatments
  • Changes in vaginal discharge or odor

Anything that could be serious or life-threatening deserves medical evaluation without delay.


Communication Matters—With Yourself and Others

Many women over 65 grew up in a time when sexual health was not openly discussed. As a result, pain during intercourse is often suffered in silence.

Helpful steps include:

  • Talking openly with a partner about comfort and boundaries
  • Taking intimacy slowly and without pressure
  • Redefining intimacy beyond intercourse, if needed
  • Giving yourself permission to seek help

Your comfort matters at every age.


Lifestyle Habits That Support Vaginal Health

Small daily habits can make a difference:

  • Stay physically active to support blood flow
  • Avoid harsh soaps or douches in the genital area
  • Wear breathable cotton underwear
  • Stay hydrated
  • Address chronic conditions like diabetes, which can worsen vaginal dryness

These steps won't replace medical treatment when needed, but they can support overall comfort.


You Are Not Alone—and Help Is Available

Pain during intercourse after 65 is common, medical, and treatable. It is not a sign that intimacy is "over" or that suffering is inevitable. Today, there are more options than ever to improve comfort and quality of life.

If pain has emotional roots or is connected to past experiences, consider using a free Sexual Trauma symptom checker as a gentle, private way to explore contributing factors and gain clarity about your symptoms.

Most importantly, speak to a doctor or qualified healthcare provider about ongoing pain, bleeding, or any symptoms that worry you. Early evaluation can rule out serious conditions and open the door to effective treatment.

Comfort, dignity, and intimacy remain important at every stage of life—and you deserve care that reflects that truth.

(References)

  • * Santoro N, Fuh V, Kim MJ. Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause: An Overview of Available Treatments. Climacteric. 2021 Apr;24(2):119-125. doi: 10.1080/13697137.2020.1837920. PMID: 33176742.

  • * Goldstein I, Kim NN, Clayton AH, et al. Management of Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause: Current Trends and Future Directions. Sex Med Rev. 2017 Jul;5(3):350-363. doi: 10.1016/j.sxmr.2017.03.003. PMID: 28629938.

  • * The 2023 Nonhormonal Management of Menopause Symptoms Position Statement of The North American Menopause Society. Menopause. 2023 Nov 1;30(11):1111-1133. doi: 10.1097/GME.0000000000002264. PMID: 37889704.

  • * Porta S, Seres-Valderrama F, García-Pascual A, et al. Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause (GSM): An Update for the Clinician. Womens Health (Lond). 2023 Jan-Dec;19:17455065231182513. doi: 10.1177/17455065231182513. PMID: 37376378.

  • * Palacios S, Combalia N, Portman DJ. Vulvovaginal Atrophy: a Comprehensive Review of the Pathophysiology, Clinical Manifestations, and Management. Climacteric. 2019 Jun;22(3):284-292. doi: 10.1080/13697137.2019.1585800. PMID: 30973347.

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